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The Advantages of Online Dating & Playing it Safe with Google & Spokeo.

September 24, 2011 by  
Filed under Dating Tips

I wonder what he is all about?Although many people consider blind dating to be outdated in a world where the technological revolution of online dating has made close scrutiny of other people a matter of a few clicks of a mouse, it is still a fairly common way of embarking on a dating relationship. While not everyone will be enamored with the idea of meeting and dating someone whose only immediate “selling point” is a mutual friend, there are many who will trust their friend’s judgement without question – and often it works to their advantage.

No-one knows us as well as our friends. They spend time with us and they see things in us that we do not even see ourselves. As tricky as it can be to judge how well two people will get on, it is made immeasurably easier by knowing a few of their quirks, their likes and dislikes, and how they will react to the more outlandish sides of a person’s character. It is hard to ever judge a perfect fit, but few things in this world are 100% perfect, and it makes sense that a friend will be able to judge what will work for you.

At the end of the day, a relationship forming depends on two individuals finding each others company pleasant enough to want to make it a more regular occurrence. Such a bond cannot be invented or forced, but if anyone can spot the potential for it to form, it is someone who knows both parties well. The rest of the work is for the couple themselves.

This was the old way and as I said still works well. But with the revolution of online dating  companies like Oasis Dating and Matchmaker,Be Naughty to name a couple of services dating has a little easier . The transparency has gotten a bit better.  Most profiles offer a excellent amount of details to see what someone is about.  But how about if you want to know a little more? After getting to know someone via telephone or email, it’s generally easy to obtain their last name. Once you have that and a few other tidbits of information like the town they live in, maybe the school they attended. Getting more details is a piece of cake via Google, Facebook, Linked-in etc  or with paid services such as Spokeo.

For those that have not heard of Spokeo, it is a incredibly amazing service that you have to try to believe.  Even the  depth of initial information that you can obtain for free is startling and for just a little more money you  can  join this service and generally obtain  full detailed profiles for under $5  a month or $35 for the year.  While this service is great tool for anyone.  I  think that many woman may find this tool particularly useful if they want to find out more information on someone that they met online and they know nothing about. Whether the information is sought prior to a date or maybe after you have been dating for a few weeks or months. Spokeo  should not be overlooked as a valuable resource for  keeping it real and keeping you safe and informed.

people search by Spokeo

Free Oasis Dating is definitely one of the best services for meeting great people in your area!

September 13, 2011 by  
Filed under Dating Tips

Find dates in the , Area Fast!

Oasis really stands out from all of the other FREE Dating Sites. Wanna know why?

By Steve Max.

Do you want to meet people in and around ,? Then you have come to the right place! Oasis dating is a free and fun online Dating site. Over 250,000 new members join each month.  So there is an amazing selection of guys and girls of all ages in the network.  Profiles have a lot of pictures and great details to help you locate your potential date before contacting them. So there is no reason not to join! I have listed some helpful tips at the end of this article on setting up a great profile that will help get you noticed.   Oasis Dating has a great community forum, a questions and answers section as well as documented  success stores. The  success stories written by  Oasis Dating members!(not those fake testimonials, like on so many other dating sites!). Check out the forum panel below and click on any topic to read the reviews, success stories and dating topics covered.

General Discussion and Dating Stories

General discussion about online dating. Share your thoughts and real life stories.

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Lets talk about the Ladies

This forum is for men and is dedicated to trying to understand women. Share your knowledge.

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Lets talk about the Men

Ladies – I am sure you have lots to say on this topic. Do you love’m or hate’m?

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Profile / Photo Advice

Need help writing your profile? Or getting that perfect photo? You can post your Oasis Username here and get feedback.

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Relationship Advice

If you are having relationship issues and need some advice then ask the community here.

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Here are 8 really Helpful Tips to help get you started in filling out your Oasis Dating  profile:

  • Tip #1 Do choose a photograph where you are well-dressed. It is not necessary to get dressed up and have a photo taken professionally, but one where you are wearing a faded t-shirt and a hat shaped like a beer can won’t do. Either way always post a current picture! (at least within a year or two) Nobody wants to see what you looked 5 years ago. they are dating you now.
  • Tip #2 Don’t lie to make yourself appear more impressive. If you are going to be dating someone who has read your profile, at some point they will get to know the real you. If they find that you lied in the first place, they will lose a lot of trust in you.
  • Tip #3 Do make your personality come across as well as possible. If your sense of humor has been complimented by a lot of people, make a few self-deprecating jokes. Nothing that comes across as self-pity, and equally you should avoid coming across as arrogant. “I’m an international business tycoon – I’ve sold DVDs online to people in Japan and in Brazil” – something unfunny but cute like that works wonders.
  • Tip #4 Don’t sound desperate or resentful if you haven’t had good luck before. A comment like “Are there any good men/women out there?” makes it sound like you are bitter. Even if your past hasn’t been glittering, good people exist. They won’t be attracted by self-pity, though. Always be positive and real.
  • Tip #5 Do make yourself sound fun. This does not mean liberal use of exclamation marks and the word “crazy”, however you choose to spell it. Talk about things you enjoy and appear passionate. There are few things more attractive than someone who is enthusiastic and literate.
  • Tip #6 Be punctual for your first date. Take it seriously. Maybe you have spoken on the phone already and feel comfortable. But the phone is never a substitute for the  actual date. The spark you thought you had on the phone can vanish in an instant if you don’t look good and act appropriate.
  • Tip #7 If the date is good, don’t wait a week to call, the next day or two is a great follow up time.  To let him/her know that you had a great time. Little shy?, send a email or a text. Its better than no follow-up at all.
  • Big Tip #8 Don’t get caught in the ” I have to meet everyone syndrome”.  Sure you may be getting emails from others all month vying for a date  wanting to meet you OR maybe you keep seeing girls/guys you want to date.  But  a problem  I see that many dating people experience is this: You go out on a date on Wednesday  and like that person , maybe have  great conversation and chemistry. Then you go out with another person on Friday and the same thing happens! Now what do you do? If you are in it for just meeting people and casual dating than this can be fun , but may not generally lead  to a serious relationship. But if you are into this to meet a partner or start a relationship,then juggling to many people at once will probably lead to disaster and disappointment.  Some good advice would be to really  go slow  and give each date a chance  especially if you saw potential on that date. Otherwise you are just wasting everyone’s time.  So have a plan before your start. It will help you keep your ultimate goal in sight.

For more great tips and dating info read our articles and posts and some of the funny questions that I answer in the Free Oasis Dating Site Questions and Answers section.

~Steve Max

Free Oasis Dating Site editor

Dating Pitfalls #3 – Appearing to be Something You Aren’t

June 27, 2009 by  
Filed under Dating Tips

There is a natural tendency for people entering a new relationship to try and make themselves appear to be something more than they believe themselves to be. The thought process behind this is fairly rational, up to a point. The attitude that many people have goes something like the following: “He/she cannot possibly be interested in me for who I am. I’m too boring – I need to appear more interesting.”. Although this is a perfectly common rationale, it misses one key point – he or she clearly is interested. Any pretense is unnecessary. If you want to be more interesting, it needs to be a decision made for you. Only then can you fully commit to it and do it properly.

The problem with artifice and pretense is that they require a lot of work in order to be convincing. Honesty really is the best policy and not only because it is morally the right thing, but also because honesty is the natural thing. Telling the truth relies only on remembering what you have done. Lying relies on remembering what you have said, without the concrete memories to back it up. Sooner or later, you forget what lies you have told and you trip yourself up.

Being honest is rewarded with trust. If you tell a lie and are caught out, you lose a bit of trust, and once that goes it almost never returns. If you are later suspected of having done something of which you are truly innocent, your previous lie will work against your partner believing you. So even if it is only because of how it may come back to haunt you, be honest and be yourself.

Dating Pitfalls #2 – Coming on too Strong

June 27, 2009 by  
Filed under Dating Tips

There is little doubt that a new relationship can put a spring in your step. Just knowing that someone considers you to be worth spending time with, and that they are someone you would be happy with, makes a big difference. There are also drawbacks to this feeling. It is all to easy to fall quickly and deeply for someone, and it is not uncommon for people’s work to be affected because they spend any time that they have apart from their new love thinking about them. At its worst, it can lead to paranoia about the relationship ending suddenly.

Although it is completely normal to become smitten with a new boyfriend or girlfriend, it is important to proceed with caution. The temptation may be to call them a few times a day, give them gifts whenever you see them and write to them when you are neither with them or talking to them – love can easily be that powerful. However, it is important to be conscious that appearing too keen can spook someone. They may feel that they have to live up to an impossible impression, or that you want something more than they do – or just that you are getting too involved too quickly.

If you have to make a conscious effort to find other things to do with your time, then that is what you must do. Placing undue pressure on a relationship does no good – it needs time and space to grow healthily. Though this may be difficult to keep to, you need to give yourself the best chance of making things work.

Dating Pitfalls #1: The case of the ex

June 27, 2009 by  
Filed under Dating Tips

When embarking on a dating relationship with someone new, it is important to be aware of the ways that things can go wrong, and to avoid these as far as possible. The unavoidable fact is that many times, a new relationship can follow on the footsteps – for you or for the person you are dating – of a relationship which ended recently. This raises the very difficult question of how to deal with the ex. The end of a relationship invariably generates strong feelings, and it is how these feelings are dealt with that can make or break a new relationship.

For the person who is coming off a broken relationship, the range of possible feelings is extremely variable. It may be that you (or the person you are dating) still have feelings for the ex, especially if it was they that broke it off. The question of whether someone in such a situation should be dating at all is a tough one. It can help in getting over the old relationship, or it can complicate the new one. Additionally, there is the question of bitterness. If a person recently out of a relationship talks in a bitter, even insulting manner about an ex, it will invariably raise the question “Will they talk about me like that if we don’t work?”.

It is important that there is honesty in any relationship. Without it, a relationship will wither and die on the vine. Confront any old feelings before going any further, and you have a chance. Letting them fester will just ruin anything good that you could have.

Dating a Friend – What To Look Out For

June 27, 2009 by  
Filed under Dating Tips, Featured

There are many situations where a simple friendship can become something more – having known somebody for a long time you realize how well you get on, and feel an inkling that there is something more there. It is a situation that needs to be treated with some caution, however. There is no doubt that a relationship that begins as simple friendship can go on to be absolutely fantastic. For a start, you know that you have things in common and that you can spend time together. It is easy to convince yourself that it would be even better if you took your friendship to “the next level”. It is important, however, to allow yourself to realize that it doesn’t always work out the way you would have hoped.

Numerous people have begun or tried to begin a relationship based on a close friendship and found that it did not work as they would have hoped. The “spark” between a couple is not always the same as a “spark” between two friends, although there are similarities. It is worth talking things over, honestly and maturely, and seeing if it is what you both really want. The danger when a friendship becomes a relationship, is that the relationship may end for any number of reasons and can put the friendship in jeopardy. Trying to make something great into something even better can leave you with nothing at all.

If you decide to give it a go, then it has certainly been shown that it can work wonderfully. As long as you go into it with your eyes open, it can work that way for you too.

The Age-Old Question Of When To Call

June 27, 2009 by  
Filed under Dating Tips

Sometimes a first date goes so well that you know there and then that you want to have a second date. The date is duly arranged for a week or so in the future, and one of you – we’ll say for the sake of this example that it is you – promises to call the other at some point in between the dates. This could be to firm up details, to chat with one another or for any number of other reasons. The age in which we live dictates that we must leave a certain amount of time before calling. But how soon is too soon, and how long is too long?

It is received wisdom that anything less than 24 hours comes across as being “too keen”. If the previous date went spectacularly well, however, this rule can be waived in most cases. It simply makes sense to take advantage of the positive impression you will have of one another in the wake of a successful date. Otherwise, it is permissible to have a single day in between – if your date was on the Thursday, you can mandate Friday for a night of DVDs with a friend, then call on the Saturday. Leaving it any longer may be seen as stringing someone along – which should be avoided.

The above rules are, of course, not binding, and you can make your own decisions depending on the situation. However, it should always be remembered that after the first date, “playing hard to get” becomes less endearing and more like a method of torture.

Exit Strategies for the Date from Hell

June 27, 2009 by  
Filed under Dating Tips

As much hope as we sometimes invest in a date, there is rarely any guarantee that it will go as we had hoped. The very reason that you go on a date is to find out if you like the other person enough to spend more time with them – and if they feel the same way about you. Sometimes, however, a date can go so badly that you want to end it prematurely. If both parties can agree civilly to do this, then it’s better for all concerned. If, however, the decision to call a halt is unilateral, it is worth having an exit strategy in place. This does not need to be planned like a military operation – but it is worth having back-up in case things go very badly.

Taking a cell phone with you is always wise. Planning with a friend that they call you at a pre-ordained time to make sure all is well allows a possible exit strategy. When the phone goes, look at the display and say “Sorry, I have to take this”, and answer in such a way as to make the escape easier. If you could do with back-up, a code word is an idea. For example, the code word is “fish”. You answer the phone, say “Hello?”, allow your friend to speak and then say “Oh no! Are the fish OK?”. They can then come to your rescue – in case the date turns nasty. If, however, you just want an excuse to leave without being too cruel to the person you are with, you can use the phone call as an excuse to leave. It may not be a nice thing to do, but sometimes you need to look out for yourself.

Be Yourself – A Cliché, But A True Cliché

June 27, 2009 by  
Filed under Dating Tips, Featured

The undeniable truth that everyone who has ever had a bad date can tell you is that sometimes the spark just is not there, no matter how much you want it to be. A personal connection is not something that you can manufacture and if it isn’t there at all on the first date, the chances of it appearing later on are limited. Rather than blaming anyone, or trying to invent a feeling that isn’t really there, sometimes calling time and parting the ways is the most grown-up reaction. It is easy to get drawn into believing that you need to conform to a certain stereotype, and go into a date with that in mind. This strategy is doomed to fail.

One of the most frequently used pieces of advice anyone will ever hear is “be yourself”. It has been known to send individuals into a furious rage at the mere use of the first syllable. People do not like cliché, but the fact of the matter is that sometimes clichés become clichés because they are true. And you would be well advised to always try to be yourself, for one very good reason if nothing else – eventually, if you put on an act, that act will come to pieces. At that point it is a lot more difficult to regain your dignity and someone else’s trust than if you were honest to begin with.

You can’t make anyone like you if there is no connection there – but if someone is going to like you, it’s better that they like you for you.

Know When To Talk and When To Listen

June 27, 2009 by  
Filed under Dating Tips

The joys of dating are many and varied, and experiencing them all is a part of life that should be appreciated for the rare gift that it is. Being in the company of someone who makes you laugh, someone who looks at the world in a way that endears them to you, and someone who knows how to make you feel good is a feeling that cannot be bought. However, it is rare that this will happen naturally on the first meeting. If you are going to employ a strategy where dating is concerned, the most important thing is to make sure that you do not make yourself look either arrogant or meek. Being interesting company requires a balanced approach.

The key to this approach is knowing when to talk and when to listen – or as some would have it, when to talk and when to stop talking. You need to get the balance right. Staying silent all the time will make your date wonder what is wrong with you – or what is wrong with them. Either way it can bring a date to a disappointing end. Talk about yourself, but do not feel the need to share every detail about you. “I like to go to the movies every couple of weeks – even if there’s nothing good on it can be fun to see a stinker” is pretty good. “When I was seven I locked my sister in the garage for six hours” is not. Gauge their reaction and listen to what they have to say too. Don’t get drawn into feeling that the sole purpose of listening is to have something to do while waiting to talk again. A steady flow of conversation is a prime sign of a good date.

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